Pride goeth before a fall
I didn’t think it was fair. I really don’t think it is at all. But, after pondering this delima overnight I wonder if I may have been too prideful?
Yes, I can do my job and your job and parts of that job. See?? I am GOOD. Uhhh… maybe not so much. My bank account and credit cards are reflecting the not so much. The fact that I was overlooked/not seen/not good enough/not offered the position that was announced and filled all in one sentence yesterday? Well that is definitely a not-so-much.
Which really truly is a bummer! And I am thinking a wakeup call. The job I am currently in will not lead me anywhere soon. Any upward movement within the ranks is currently filled and not likely to be empty any time soon. I’ve known this for a few years now, it just took me this long to realize that I am not making it. I will not be moving up anytime soon, nor will the paychecks be increasing unless I put myself out there and look for another job. I will not be handed a position. Shoot no matter how upset I am, I have to admit I never promoted myself, put myself out there. I just quietly did the work behind the scenes. That may be an issue. I don’t think nice quiet people finish first, it is the ones who make themselves seen and heard that get the quick bump-ups in this world. Which I believe is quite unfair!
Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, have to open the door before they go in the building. Even me. However, I lack the schmoozing skills. I lack the ability to read people and not put my foot in my mouth, legitimately shooting down any chance of a promotion or opportunity.
I really can’t get upset, I am hurt, but angry? The only one I can truly be angry with is myself. I mean, what didn’t I do? I don’t know, not smiling, not promoting myself, not saying looky looky!! Could possibly be the lack of patience I had the fifth time I ran down the stairs for the same problem in one day? So obviously my ego that I am hot shit? Has taken a beating. All I can do is bow out of this job gracefully and find another one. And work to not get so full of myself, obviously I have A LOT to learn.
Graceful acceptance that in the economy we have today, I have a job. I don’t have to love my job, but I do need to give my best and be gracious.