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J Elyzabeth's Blog

A Writer's Journey of a Secluded Mind

Month

May 2015

Muse

This month’s blog chain for Absolute Write is on the subject “Muses”. Sadly this month was busy for most of the past participants and so myself and BBBurke have tackled this subject.

Muse-

Just a small preface: I am going to be honest. But I am not going to use names as I don’t know if the two people who this is about will read this. I am not famous and we do not move in the same circles. And I am afraid what contact I do have I will lose. At times I feel as if I have reached a stalker status, but I don’t think I have. Funny that , huh?

Is it possible to be inspired and intimidated by someone at the same time?

I am simply writing about my muse. Oddly enough I found him on Instagram, and his influence fanned out from there. I had written a few stories, gotten maybe two out. Self-publishing you know and left it at that. But I have a few more published since then. And writer’s block was horrible over the winter and as contact became less.

I started following the growly bear. For he is one, well definitely growly at times, and furred. We all find one of those in our lives, I think. Followed onto Twitch and Youtube. Found Twitter on my own and by then three months later already had my own author’s Facebook page up and running. I think I became a little infatuated with my muse. No longer to an extent as I would consider him a friend. The decade in age no longer a factor. But I am actually working with my lack of discipline to get on with my dreams. To finish writing, to get in shape.

Because of him I have actually touched, found and typed up some of Three, though that story scares me. So many of my stories scare me. Why do I write that which eventually touches and exposes my soul, scaring me from finishing the story?

But through him I found my answer to Frank. It is a picture I have save on my phone of someone in a position I find beautiful and strong. Not him. A picture found of someone newer. Though the subject felt it was a defeatist picture. There is something I find beautiful in the pose. And so I found Matthew for my Frank. How he got there is to be told. But that picture and the man behind it (yes few conversations through Instagram I have an insight into my character) I now hold dear because a picture tells a thousand words. And I intend on writing as many thousands as I can.

Watching my muse achieve things in life, I am a little intimidated. But I have hope I can keep putting one foot in front of the other. I do not know if I will ever have the guts to say “hi” if I ever saw them in person. I would like to think I could, but I am plagued by my own insecurities. If they were to say “hi” first? Well I may just faint. No, I don’t think I would, but I am so socially awkward and forget how boundaries go.

Does this meet the definition of a muse? I don’t know. Do I feel inspired to be better at what I do? Well, yes. Do I have more ideas than I can write down, see myself in a different way, want to improve on what I have? Yes to all three.

So to my muse(s),

Thank you

Hugs&kisses

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Frank and Matthew

It was the scream and thud that woke Frank up. He didn’t even pause just went out his bedroom door and across the hall.

“Pup? Mattie it’s me.” Frank walked in to a room in disarray and dark. Well there was half the problem Mattie didn’t leave the light to the en suite on.

“Mattie, it’s okay to leave the light on. I have the kitchen one on too.” Frank walked across using the light coming from the open curtains to make his way to the bathroom.

Turning the light on, Frank was able to see the crack in the closet. That wouldn’t be where Mattie was. No, the young man always somehow managed to get himself under the bed. Frank was too old and too large to be crawling under there, though that first night he had.

Grabbing the bedding and the pillows Frank settled down on the floor leaving a path to the bedroom and to the bathroom for Mattie.

“I’m just going to sleep right here pup. It’s okay. We’ll talk in the morning about changing the sleeping arrangement okay?”

Frank could just see Mattie’s eyes as he peered at him from beneath the bed. Laying back on his back, Frank shut his eyes and started counting. He hit ten when he heard the first shift, twenty when he heard the next. Patience was what Frank needed. How many times had he had to wait for Mattie to figure out that he wasn’t in trouble for being scared. They were still trying to follow Mattie’s trail, find where he came from and how he ended up at the club.

But until the sweet pup started talking they were running blind. Frank sighed, it would happen. Patience and quiet right now were the key. And Frank could provide that in spades. The guys would take care of the club until Mattie had adjusted then they would go from there.

120. Frank stilled and stayed silent as Mattie crawled next to him on the make-shift bed. He didn’t say a word. He had spoken the other night and sent Mattie scrambling for safety, now he just waited for a sign.

Mattie had watched the feet of the large man come in and turn on the light. He still wasn’t so sure that it was okay, but he wasn’t in charge. He had had another bad dream and hadn’t meant to wake anyone.

Now watching the Master lay down on the floor he felt guilty. Not that he had been punished for being inconvenient, yet. He didn’t understand. He had woken up the house, why wasn’t he in trouble?

Carefully crawling from under the bed, Mattie stayed low and scooted closer to the warmth that permeated from the silent form. Just to be warm. When no punches or scolding words came Mattie settled down to sleep. Maybe…

How did we get here with Frank and Matthew? I still do not know what I am going to call him, Matt, Matthew or Mattie. Comment below. And I’ll fill in some of the blanks as I go.

Thank you for reading. 😀

Hugs&Kisses

Paypal button

Okay, it’s a donate not donate button. Basically it’s funding for my living…

I wonder how that works. I get money and supply posts. I just don’t want to piss off Paypal and have them cancel my account as it is how I give donations to other bloggers and  gamers…

Anyone know the legalize for all this???

The beginning…

Matthew sat and watched. Well leaned against the bars and watched. He was so tired. Not hungry, not sore, no longer stiff and achy from sitting for so long, just tired.

The boy currently kneeling at his Master’s? feet was gorgeous. More so than he was. He had grown up late, a late growth spurt ruining the twink look he had going for him. Now, well he was too tall, too gangly, awkward. Awkward and bald, his soon to be former Master having shaved him bald. Everywhere, the dirty blonde hair… all gone.

He had seen this from the other angle, watched as the boy he replaced was let go. Closing his eyes, Matthew simply thought, “Please let me find someone.”

Broken toe and all that

I promise I will get all caught up.

I’ve been playing Minecraft.. No more to say there.

But I broke my toe doing something really stupid, stepping over a box on the floor. I didn’t step far enough. I am now mostly healed and getting back into the swing of cardio. Nasty stuff that, that cardio.

Believe me this post is all about excuses. My sister was gone for a week to a conference and I have both kids the majority of the time, plus unplanned visit from my parents…. No more to say there….

Well I have missed all my posts the last month. Missed my muse and then some. I am still sitting on Frank and Matthew’s story. I am having a hard time getting the right words for Matthew’s side. And I am a great big chicken liver and cannot seem to get the courage to ask the owner of the pic if I can use his pic seeing as it was his caption to the picture that found me Frank’s other half. … Did anyone else get dizzy with that one?

Though, funny funny, if anyone recognizes it. Jamie’s Jelly is in process. Don’t know where the story line will go. But I have high hopes for it. 😀

But, well after all my waffling around I am ready to get back to work.

Plate is full, and my skills at time management, well I just haven’t developed those yet. ha-ha 😀 ItWorks, writing, (stalking) um not… um admiring beautiful people, 40 hour desk job, full time single parent… exercising… Anything else? Playing games (just Minecraft, though I do have Hearthstone on my phone now. I had to reset my Apple password. Stupid) bothering people, wait I’m to old to be doing that…. wondering when my Keeper will find me… oh who knows what goes on in the crazy mind of mine.

I am revamping the blog site. Adding a published works page with all my books and as soon as I figure it out a PayPal button. I need someone website savvy.

Being an author is not cheap. I have to pay my illustrator in Starbucks coffee. 😀 And getting copy rights to use images is not cheap either. All for the good and enjoyment of writing and sharing my craziness with others.

Hugs & kisses

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