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A Writer's Journey of a Secluded Mind

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thought

And poof he was gone

“Oh no! No! No. Get back here! You do not just pick me up from work, drop me off in the middle of no where, and poof!”

Where am i anyways? Jesse glanced around. Granted the flowered landscape was beautiful. And… yes that was a unicorn.

Get a grip Jess. “No nope you did not just disappear.”

“Did you just stomp your foot?” Sevin caught Jesse before she fell. Picking her up however, elicited a small squeak. Bonus! And as any self preserving being knew, squeaks were never referenced. Sucky balance on the otherhand… “You really need to quit spinning like that.”

Ignoring the fact that her feet dangled, Jesse glared at her demon. “I did not stomp me foot!”

Ok. 2020 did a thing. And all good plans and goals and wants and yeah… I tried and I did better than I thought.

Is it where I think I should be. Am I where I want to be. No. … But I have to take into consideration that this was a crazy year. Stress was astronomical. It was crazy. And my goals I tried to achieve? Well they may have been a little crazy too.

Welcome 2021. I am me. I am going to work on being a little more forgiving of myself. Set smaller more achievable goals.

And this post? A little all over the place and circled nowhere. Hello 2021 are we ready?

Stay tuned…

I’m pretty sure I have said it before. And believe me I had a two day crises before I posted the pictures of my answer to seven questions.

Then I realized, if they took the time to write these questions and I took they time to actually write an honest response. Which I did. I realized honesty was the only response. And I mean not the surface answer, but the inner reflective answer.

Which resulted in a not-answer. But not a not-answer. What honest answer and thought doesn’t result in a little self-awareness.

So I posted my response. Not with the hope that they would see my response, but the hope that how I currently view the world would resonate with someone.

If you’re wondering, go delve into the army of responses to #TO_BTS on Twitter.

But my thought at the beginning of this thread was they cannot read it if you don’t write it, don’t post it.

I was told growing up that anything proceeding the word ‘but’ in a sentence was negated. Actually, I believe the words were more along the lines of; don’t mean a damn. Who knows exactly, but memories dissolve and dilute with age.
Think about it. Take this sentence: “I love you, but you drive me crazy” and spin it. “You drive me crazy, but I love you”. You hear both sentences, but the meaning “I love you” gets lost in the first sentence. Emphasis is put on the ‘drive me crazy’ – it’s about me. I am annoyed and bothered by you. Whereas I believe ‘but I love you’; the subject to me isn’t so much me, but ‘you’ and the love I feel for you.
Now as a young parent, years ago, I taught my son this. And being the little shite that he was, I never got away with the negative intonation at the end of a sentence where I used ‘but’. Yet that went both ways and we learned to communicate the importance of a sentence part without the ‘but’.
Years later and adulthood impending, we still speak this way and ‘but?’ is now used as a question. Indicating that the listener hears but understands that the speaker may have a stronger feeling regarding the next half of the conversation.
So, please use ‘but’ sparingly. Think the order of your words. And sometimes we really do feel and mean “I love you but you’re driving me crazy”.

.

But – conjunction 1a. except for the fact 1b. used after a negative 1c. without the concomitant that 1d. if not 2a. on the contrary 2c. with the exception of – used before a word often taken to be the subject of a clause.

“But.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/but. Accessed 17 Jul. 2020.

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

Though I don’t know you
I’ve not met you
I can’t know you
Though I do

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

It’s the fit of a shoe
The blink of an eye
The flaps of wings
Of a butterfly

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

When west meets east
And north turns south
As the worlds collide
An eternity is born

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

It’s two strangers in the night
Just passing by
And the hearts don’t match
Though I don’t know why

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

I’ve walked here before
I’ve walked down this road
Same story
With never a different end

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

And I’ll wait to the end
Wait to begin
Wait for the story
To unfold yet again

And I will love
Today forward
Yesterday backward
In the spit second
Of a minuscule

I will love

And I will love
No more

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